frustration.

I’m posting from a Starbucks while I drink a cup of black coffee from my really cool reusable Starbucks cup.

I’d like to say that I’m being super hip, but I really just can’t get my Internet to work at my apartment and I can’t afford anything more than $1.97 worth of black coffee (the cup makes it cheaper).

That being said, I’m frustrated. I have contemplated ripping my own hair out, but I am a “professional” now and I have an image to uphold! Seriously though, have you ever been so frustrated that you almost can’t function? When your iPhone is bothering you so badly that you just might slam it to the ground if it autocorrects “do” to “so” one more time. Or you’re with your family for one second longer than you want to be and all of a sudden it hurts your soul to hear them breathe. Look, maybe I’m being too vulnerable here, but I sat on my apartment floor a few nights ago and cried because I couldn’t get my pants to iron. I couldn’t even figure out how to turn the iron on. That, people, is frustration at its finest (or un-finest).

I thought getting a fancy “big girl” job would solve my money problems. For once, I would be able to support myself. No one informed me that you have to pay your bills up front. No one informed me that these “benefits” that jobs offer cost money. What the heck? Apartment deposit? You’re charging me to install my Internet, and you’re charging me to come fix it because it doesn’t work?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I HAVE TO BUY MY OWN GROCERIES? So far, the adult life that I thought was going to be super exciting has been stressful, scary, and expensive. How do I deal with this?

I don’t know what I would do, other than cry, but I like to read the Psalms sometimes to get a better grasp on how to handle frustration. David had his own fair share of frustration but I think he did a pretty good job of looking to God to handle it, for the most part.

Incline your ear, O Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy. [Psalm 86:1]

sorry this is just funny, because that’s the story of my life right now!

Preserve my life, for I am godly; save your servant, who trusts in you–you are my God. Be gracious to me, O Lord, for to you do I cry all the day…Give ear, O Lord, to my prayer; listen to my plea for grace. In the day of my trouble I call upon you, for you answer me…Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name…I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever. [Psalm 86]

David, in the middle of asking God to help him, changes his prayer to worshipping God and thanking Him for how loving and wonderful He is. He doesn’t lose faith for a second. He tells God that he knows how great and powerful and capable He is. And then he asks God to teach him to walk in truth and to fear His name, not just fix his problems.

In a situation where David could have been frustrated about people rising up against him and coming after him, he decides to worship and praise God. He decides to thank God for rescuing his soul and asks God to do what he knows G0d will do: love and deliver.

Instead of being frustrated about my Internet not working, the gigantic cockroaches trying to take showers with me, my wrinkled pants, and whatever other first world problem I might have going on, I want to be more like David and just thank God for saving my soul from the depths of Sheol. I want to thank Him for loving me steadfastly and ask Him to change my heart, not pay my bills.

If you don’t take anything away from this post, take this: don’t buy bread unless you really want to eat it. It goes bad really fast.

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2 thoughts on “frustration.

  1. So well said. I have had my share of frustrations. Today, Mary opened a can of what you did to me when I was 5″. All I can do is ask for forgiveness.

    Sent from my iPhone

  2. I love all of it; but I especially love the ending. haha. You are so great in that you don’t try to be a so-called “super christian.” You have problems like everyone else in this world and you’re not afraid to show it. More than that, you turn to the scriptures while confessing these problems to Jesus. Thank you for that example :). Love you!

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